Eh? Canada?

I just returned from my fifth trip to Ottawa with the Boy Scouts. Our troop goes on one of three major trips every year; Ottawa, Washington DC and Gettysburg. Each provides a great experience but Ottawa provided some of my fondest memories over the years.

Ottawa brought an appreciation for architecture into the troop. You're dealing with 11 to 18 year old boys full of testosterone and without a matriarch to guide them. The timing of our trip to Ottawa coincides with the start of warm weather, the Fringe Festival and the preparations for Canada. The city's spirits are high and the dresses are short. Among our older scouts language became rather coarse. We were on the edge of becoming the ugly Americans and corrupting the younger scouts. But how to control them? We talked, we lectured, we threatened. But, they are boys and testosterone driven. Finally we suggested that as an alternative they admire and discuss the local architecture. We asked them to look at the park and pointed out a nice structure that was finely built. One replied that all they saw was 'a good looking girl'. Slowly it dawned and instead of crass comments architectural terms were substituted and our assault of the Canadian ears ceased. That is until one less adept senior scout told another to "look at the ass on that building". Oh well.

A thirsty scout asked an adult where to get water on Parliament Hill to fill his water bottle. Having just arrived after a short walk the adult asked if he had dunk all his water. The scout said no. The adult asked why the water bottle was empty. The scout was confused by the question. So the adult tried again and asked why he brought an empty water bottle along with him. The scout pointed out that he was told to bring a water bottle but no one told him to fill it.

Then there was the time we were the first guests of the new American Embassy. The ambassador himself, just returning from the newly designated Nunavet territory above the Arctic Circle came in and addressed our group. He eagerly told the scouts about embassy duties and the variety of events he attends. Having completed the speech he asked for questions. Up went several hands. He carefully selected one of the younger scouts who promptly informed the ambassador that he had just farted and then asked the ambassador if he knew where the bathroom was.